Basic Tenants | nowislam

3.20.21; 12.22.24

What are the basic tenants of Islam?

Islam means submission to God without allowing anyone or anything else to compete with devotion to God. Even as greater worldly success would proceed for the early Muslims, even to the point of a "golden age" (sampling from which led to the European Enlightenment), the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ foretold the sorry state of affairs among modern Muslims and the trials across the earth in general. While there are wonderful Muslims and organizations, globally, the Muslims altogether are in a condition of needing to return to Islam n unity. Innovations in religion, peculiar religious priorities, mob-mentality, fear of poverty, greed, fear of death, etc. tend to disunify and set people against each other, and stupidly so. Contrarywise, differentiating between our Unique Creator and the creation shapes and balances a true believer's relationship with themselves, others, and the Creator.

As for what that submission to God entails, that's up to God. A believer looks to the 7th century revelation of al-Quran and as-Sunnah, which says submission to God includes knowledge and faith in six articles. As well, there are five pillars of worship which support faith and perspective throughout our daily lives. If Islam were a tree, then these few matters are the easily apparent trunk, but where unlimited depth and complexity can be pursued in the branches (eg discussions in creed, jurisprudence, exegesis, etc). The word for God in that revelation is Allah, the Arabic form of the Hebrew Elohim and Aramaic Alaaha. God, Allah associates useful knowledge with piety, in that awareness of Allah's Greatness reveals the profound weakness of our own created nature. So, knowing more about Allah and Islam should only make a person more humble, not arrogant or unduly judgmental.

On the contrary, one Muslim who the Prophet ﷺ highlighted as a person of the Paradise achieved that level simply by forgiving others before he slept. These six concepts and five actions are the scaffold to comprehensive spiritual, social, and moral goals. The revelation is expansive and touches on all aspects of life for the one who wishes to pursue those levels. The starting place is simple. It's merely to single out the Creator as the only object worthy of our ultimate devotion and trust and then to establish regular prayer. For some, this may be sufficient as a path of return to the Source, the Most-Merciful.

The Six Articles of Faith

1. Allaah–The One, The Unique

As stated above, the word Allaah (or Allah) has the same linguistic root as the Hebrew Elohim and Alaaha in Aramaic, from the languages of the Bible and of Jesus, peace on him.
Though the English pronouns He and Him are often used to refer to God, Allah is neither male nor female and does not procreate. In Arabic, the pronoun huwa can refer to a male person or an object with masculine linguistic gender. Spanish, similarly, recognizes linguistic gender.
Allah’s actions (like creating and sustaining) are for Him only; no one or anything else shares in doing these actions: “Unquestionably, His is the creation and the command; blessed is Allah, Lord of the worlds” (al-Qur’an 7:54).
Allah’s names and attributes (like Most Gracious, The Loving, The Wise, The Generous, The Controller, The Guardian, The Living, etc.) are for Him only; no one or anything else possesses these names or attributes in the manner in which Allah does: “He is Allah, the Creator, the Inventor, the Fashioner; to Him belong the best names” (59:24; see also 1:3-4, 17:110, 19:65, 20:8, and 42:11).
Humans have a tendency to devote themselves in something, where what drives them may even change over the course of their lives. If worship isn't singing praises, but actually anything connected to those core motives and principles within any person, then that drive should be connected ultimately to Allah rather than anything Allah created.
Unliked created beings, Allah does not have needs. Worship of any sort does not increase Allah. Rather, it aligns the worshiper with reality versus submission or exaggerated dedication to created beings or worldly matters. Allah says, "But those who have avoided taghut (extreme demagogue), lest they worship it, and turned back to Allah—for them are good tidings" (39:17). Taking the Creator's guidance is a means to success for our own selves, both in this life and after death.
That's as opposed to a situation where experiences, celebrity, wealth, threats, loss, or any other high or low of this worldly life subsume a person's remembrance of the Source, Allah, which is going astray.

Allah is different. People are generous, for example, but what they give is from what Allah gave them and they receive benefits for that (either praise from people or reward from Allah). When, Allah, The Generous gives, He creates what He provides, with no helper or other source. Moreover, that giving does not limit His ability to give more (is His wealth is unlimited), and His status and wealth is neither increased nor decreased (ie He is neither benefited nor harmed regardless how much as He gives). Likewise, Allah mentions His Hand in al-Qur’an. We affirm this attribute because Allah mentioned it, but we refrain from making any claims about it that Allah did not say. We do not venture to imagine Allah’s Hand has any similarity to our human hands, for example.

Altogether, the exclusivity of Allah in his actions, attributes, and worthiness of worship is known as at-Tawheed or The Oneness. While the word monotheism is a possible translation, typical monotheism does not satisfy Islamic Tawheed. Sometimes divergence from at-Tawheed is a denial or lack of affirmation of some reality about Allah or what He revealed. That could be accepting some revelations and some prophets, but rejecting others, whereas they are all from Allah. Whereas, in other cases, the theology among both Muslim sects and non-Muslim religions sometimes compartmentalize or differentiate Allah, Himself, or inadvertently set up de facto equals or competitors with Him. Whereas Allah is One and above all that. There is no ultimate power, except Allah's Power.

None but Allah is worthy of worship (highest love, devotion, sacrifice, seeking, ultimate trust, ritual actions, pious fear, consideration in decisions, obedience, etc.) such that a person who elevates something in the creation to equal or greater status as Allah or altogether replaces Allah’s position in their lives with something or someone else besides Allah, then this is going far astray—whereas singling Allah out for worship and remaining steadfast on that to death is the ultimate success. Worship of other than Allah (shirk, in Arabic) could include obvious things like sacrifice or singing for an idol, human, or multiple gods. Or it might be less obvious like undue devotion or elevation of normal things like money, jobs, a mate, etc. One person, for example, could be sad over losing a job but know that it had just been a means of sustenance for a time while Allah is ever The Provider. Someone else in the same situation might despair and lose hope, indicating the job itself had been inappropriately relied upon as the ultimate source of provision as if it were a god.

2. malaa'ika–angels

Allah spoke directly to humans in some cases, such as Musa (Moses) when he climbed mount Sinai. However, most of the revelation from Allah to humans was conveyed via angels. The first revelation to Prophet Muhammad (al-Quran 96:1), as well as many more over the course of 23 years, all came via the angel Jibreel. It was also Jibreel who spoke with Maryam, the mother of Jesus. There are other angels who we know by name, like Azrai'l, the angel of death, and an unfathomable number of others. Prophet Muhammad (saw) said, “I was shown Bayt al-Ma’mur (in the Paradise). I asked Jibreel about it and he said, This is Bayt al-Ma’mur where 70,000 angels perform prayers daily and when they leave they never return to it (a fresh batch comes into it daily)” (Bukhari and Muslim). Peace be upon all the prophets and their families, as well as the angels.

Besides angels, there are other categories of beings we know of. There are animals, and then a third category among which are humans (and jinn). But the most consistently trustworthy from among all those are the angels. Angels have intellect, awareness, and capacity for complex matters and goals, but no desires of their own which might corrupt their motives. Meanwhile, the animal world is dominated by basic desires related to daily or seasonal life. Some creatures' intelligence is remarkable, but their capacity is ultimately limited. We usually find a tiger doing tiger things and a cow doing cow things, as they're supposed to do. Meanwhile, humans comprise a combination. We have basic desires, like animals, but also high level thinking, communication, and capacity for a wide range of actions, like the angels. When a person's higher mind dominates over their desires, perhaps they are better than an angel. Whereas, when a human's capacities merely serve their base desires and needs, then, as long as a person is in that state, they are in a worse state than that of an animal. Allah says: "Have you seen him who has taken as his god his own desire? Would you then be a watcher over him? Or do you think most of them hear or understand? They are only like cattle–nay, they are even more astray" (al-Qur'an 25:43-44).

Much can be said of the angels, but the primary point is that they are trustworthy, including in their duties between Allah and humans. As for ash-Shaytan (Satan), he is not an angel, but a jinn, with a nature like that of all the other humans and jinn (ie a capacity to cover, diverge from, or fight the truth for the sake of vain fears or desires).

3. rusul wa anbiyaa'–messengers and prophets

Allah's revelation, however, has not come to our collective ears or eyes via angels. Rather, Allah has selected Messengers to reveal iterations of His guidance throughout history, as well as Prophets who support or reiterate that guidance. In order to preserve that message from falsehood or mistakes, Allah protects those select individuals from going astray or succumbing to sins. Regarding Prophet Muhammad, peace on him, Allah says, "He does not speak from his own desire. It is no less than a Revelation sent down to him" (al-Qur'an 53:3-4). Correspondingly, Allah says, "O believers! Obey Allah and obey the Messenger and those in authority among you. Should you disagree on anything, then refer it to Allah and His Messenger, if you truly believe in Allah and the Last Day" (4:59).

Each message is comprised of the revealed book combined with a sunnah (way), which is the implementation and explanation of a specific prophet or messenger. Both a book and the sunnah are revelation from Allah and a message is only complete with both (not just one or the other), but only the book portion is the literal Speech of Allah.
A messenger is a prophet who comes with a new book and sunnah, whereas a prophet either supports a messenger or re-conveys a book and sunnah that was sent down previously.
We believe in all of the prophets and messengers and do not differentiate between them as regards validity of the original messages they were sent with (though, as mentioned earlier, the messages sent to specific nations of the past have been lost or corrupted partially or completely).
However, there are five messengers who are called the greatly tested, which bore greater difficulty and responsibility than the other messengers and prophets. These are Nuh/Noah, Ibraheem/Abraham, Musa/Moses, Isa/Jesus, and Muhammad, peace and blessings of Allah be upon all of them.
All of the messages are in complete agreeance as regards creed (including the six articles of faith and more) as the ultimate reality of all things is unchanging; however, the details of how to implement those beliefs and religious laws differed for the circumstances of various nations and times according to Allah’s Wisdom.
This is why even if we had the previous messages, we would still cling to al-Qur’an and as-Sunnah of Muhammad, peace on him. Jabir Bin Abdullah reports that once Umar Bin al-Khattab read a book, which he had received from a Jew, to the Prophet who got angry and said: “O the son of al-Khattab, are you embarrassed? By the One in whose hands is my life, I have brought to you something which is pure and immaculate. Don’t ask them (the Jews) anything. There is a possibility that they tell you the truth and you refute it, or they tell you the false and you confirm it. By the One in whose hands is my life, even if Musa were alive today he would have followed me” (Ahmad Ibn Hanbal, Hadith no. 4736). When we encounter remnants of previous messages we do not deny them in case there is something true remaining and we do not confirm them, in case there is something false added.

4. al-kutub–the books

Allah revealed the Torah, Zaboor (Psalms), Injeel (Gospel), and other messages, and, finally, the final message, al-Qur'an.
We believe in all the original revelations, but the only record that remains available to us unadulterated, just as Allah sent it to us, is al-Qur’an. The previous revelations were for various nations of the past and so they were not preserved, whereas al-Qur’an is the last revelation sent for this time period for all people until the end.

Allah has promised to preserve al-Qur’an for that purpose such that no one can corrupt it. “Verily, We, it is We Who have sent down the Dhikr and surely, We will guard it (from corruption)” [al-Hijr 15:9]. Though people make competing texts and lie about the message, millions of copies remain spread throughout the earth and, obviously, it’s on the internet. We have clear records of its early preservation and copies today match those of the ‘Uthmani texts still available to this day, produced under the direction of a close companion of the Prophet, peace on him. Furthermore, millions have memorized the entire text and some can trace their teachers back, name by name, back to the mouth of the Prophet, peace on him.

5. Yawm al-Qiyamah–The Day of Standing, The Last Day

Everyone will die and cross barzakh, which is the barrier against returning to this life. This amounts to the time in the grave until such time that the Last Day, The Day of Judgement (it has many names) comes upon us. Anyone who remains to that point will die and Allah will remove more and more of the creation until nothing is left but Himself. And He will ask who is Lord and none will be in existence to answer Him, except himself.
And then Allah will bring back the creation and resurrect us by way of growing out of the earth like plants from the coccyx bone as if it were a seed.
And then we will be given our record of deeds, in our right hand if Allah has accepted us and granted us His Mercy or in our left hands if we have failed ourselves.
We believe that Jahanam, the Hellfire is real and eternal.
We believe al-Jannah, the Paradise is real and eternal.

6. al-Qadr–Divine Decree, the good and the bad of it

We should work hard to attain a good life for ourselves and other people, but our wisdom and control is limited.
By Allah’s Wisdom and beyond our control, we will receive and experience both good and bad, both ease and difficulty. Regardless of the results of our efforts in this life and the circumstances we find ourselves in, our ultimate purpose is to worship Allah in any and all conditions that we would have sweetness of faith, defend ourselves from misdirection, know and develop our character, and attain Allah’s forgiveness. On the authority of Abu Yahya Suhaib bin Sinan, it is related that the Prophet, peace on him, said, “How amazing is the affair of the believer. There is good for him in everything and that is for no one but the believer. If good times come his way, he expresses gratitude to Allah and that is good for him, and if hardship comes his way, he endures it patiently and that is better for him” (Muslim).
Constant Trust in Allah and seeking His Face in there hereafter as the ultimate goal of everything puts things in perspective and allows us peace and protection, wisdom and insight through all things we encounter in life.

The Five Pillars

1. as-shahadatayn–the two testimonies

The two testimonies encapsulate the creed of the believer and Muslims state these testimonies frequently as a remembrance and reminder. More specifically, they are the statements made by someone who intends to be a Muslim. Generally we can call that person a convert, but some prefer to say revert since it is a return to the natural state we had all been born into.
If a person wishes to “take shahadah,” they must know the meaning of what they are saying, have firm belief that what they are saying is true, sincerely intend to be a Muslim before Allah, and love these words that capture the breadth of all truth and reality.
The two testimonies are to say, “Ash-hadu an laa ilaaha illallaah wa ash-hadu anna Muhammadar-rasoolullaah,” which means, “I testify that none has the right to be worshiped except Allah, and I testify that Muhammad is the messenger of Allah.”
Both testimonies are vital because even if someone says that none has the right to be worshiped except Allah, they must still define who Allah is and what worship entails in order for this statement to bear fruit. The only correct way to define them is as Allah defines Himself and as Allah commands and guides, and these are known by way of al-Qur’an and as-Sunnah sent to and through the prophet and messenger Muhammad, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him.

2. as-salah–prayer

Prayer in Islam can come in many forms and be done voluntarily in abundance. However, there are five specific obligatory prayers each day.
These prayers are the backbone of religious maintenance. Through them, Allah purifies us from sins, supports us, and guides us by way of nourishment of our faith.
And imagine that someone begins to go astray, but how far can they proceed off track before the time will come to turn to Allah in prayer? Abu Hurayrah said, “I heard Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) saying, ‘If there was a river at the door of anyone of you and he took a bath in it five times a day would you notice any dirt on him?" They said, "Not a trace of dirt would be left." The Prophet (ﷺ) added, "That is the example of the five prayers with which Allah blots out (annuls) evil deeds’" (Saheeh al-Bukhari; Muslim).
Establishing regular prayers is the main job of a youth or a convert and the greatest work of a Muslim as it sets the foundation for everything else. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said, “The first thing among their deeds for which the people will be brought to account on the Day of Resurrection will be prayer. Our Lord will say to His angels, although He knows best, ‘Look at My slave’s prayer, is it complete or lacking?’ If it is complete, it will be recorded as complete, but if it is lacking, He will say, ‘Look and see whether my slave did any voluntary prayers.’ If he had done voluntary prayers, He will say, ‘Complete the obligatory prayers of My slave from his voluntary prayers.’ Then the rest of his deeds will be examined in a similar manner” (Abu Dawood, 864; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, 770).
As with other things in Islam and life in general, initial establishment of the prayers is difficult and sometimes awkward, but then Allah makes it easy and as natural as breathing.
Each of the five prayers can be performed in as little as around five minutes or extended much longer. Only the minimum is required, but there is great benefit to extending the prayers when possible.
Each payer has its fixed time range in which it is to be performed and these times are calculated and provided on many websites. As a matter of basic knowledge, the times are between dawn and sunrise, between the highest point of the sun and when an object’s shadow is equal to its height (or in another opinion till the shadow is double the height), from that point till sunset, from that point till dusk, and from that point till one third of the night has expired (which is one third of the time between sunset and dawn). Praying earlier in the time range is preferred except with the last prayer.
Each prayer has specific requirements and also must be performed in a state of ritual purity.
The obligatory prayer is as having a meeting with Allah or talking with Allah and can be the most powerful and enjoyable moments in this life.
Further, it prepares us for all that we do and experience between the prayers.

3. as-saum (pl. siam)–fasting

Ramadan is an amazing and powerful month of the year that heals us from the wear of the previous eleven months and prepares us for the eleven ahead. While it is spiritual and psychological, first some technical descriptions as background.
Fasting the month of Ramadan in the Hijri calendar each year is required on those who are able. Allah prescribed the fasting so that we would learn taqwah (awareness of Him in our thoughts and actions) and it is a thankfulness for the revelation of al-Qur’an, which was revealed over the course of 23 years, primarily in Ramadan.
For those who have a temporary condition preventing fasting during Ramadan, like an illness, pregnancy, breastfeeding, temporary need for frequent medication, and such as those, then they can break their fast and make the days up later in the year before the next Ramadan.
For those with a permanent condition, like frailty of old age, a chronic or terminal medical condition, and such as those, then they should feed a poor person for each day.
Because the lunar calendar is about 11 days shorter than the solar calendar, Ramadan moves backward over the years through the solar Gregorian calendar and also. Thus, it also moves through the seasons, with the fasting being short and cool in the years Ramadan is in the winter and long and hot in the years it is in the summer. Thus we, we end up fasting in all conditions as a test and a testament to our steadfastness.
The fasting entails nothing entering the throat from dawn until sunset each day. Nothing means no food, drink, medicine, or anything else. Sexual relations are also prohibited during the fast.
Additionally, every effort should be made to establish greater avoidance of bad actions and to better adhere to good actions. Extra time reading al-Qur’an and attendance of taraweeh prayers (extra voluntary prayers held during the month) are highly encouraged, whereas special attention to kind conduct, generosity, and avoidance of backbiting and foul language.
Allah helps us by chaining all or at least the strongest of the shayateen (something like demons but evil members of the jinn—there is no such thing as a fallen angel), which relieves us from evil whispers or influences.
When first learning to fast, it can be somewhat difficult and food and drink (especially drink, actually) can be the focus. There are many tips and means to make this easier, but ultimately, it is something to which Allah grants ease after persistence.
When the practice is better established, perhaps by the fourth Ramadan, the drive for food and drink become quiet from the start of the month or within a few days of the month. And when this shuts off, we feel an ironic freedom. Moreover, other things can be heard or paid attention to, things which we had been neglecting.
We examine our intentions. We find and fix unkempt or painful spots in our minds and hearts. We finally implement what we had been struggling with. We heal and grow and learn about ourselves and Allah. We are empowered and make it our goal to live better in the coming year than we had in the previous.
We gain self-control, purpose, and vision. Allah made us with needs, but we have to fulfill those needs in accordance with his law and in order to achieve even our own goals for ourselves. If desires grow too strong they can overpower the higher mind; it’s like the horse has gotten on the rider’s back. The month of fasting helps solidify our grasp on our own selves.
At the end of the month is a celebration called Eid al-Fitr. There is a large congressional prayer and sermon usually followed by food and fun. In the last days of Ramadan, zakat-ul-fitr is collected from everyone by way of food or money which equals to the value of about $10-$15 per person. While charity is collected at other times to provide aid all year, this charity is distributed to the poor specifically at the end of Ramadan in order to ensure that there is plenty and happiness for everyone at that time.

4. az-zakat-ul-maal–charity

Those who have held excess wealth equal to or greater than the value of 85 grams of gold (around 3 ounces) or 595 grams of silver (around 21 ounces) for one year—without using it (i.e., true capital wealth)—then it becomes obligatory to pay this charity to support those in need.
The gold and silver minimums are dramatically different in the current metals market. If a person prefers to wait until they have cleared both the silver and gold thresholds, then this is permissible. However, it will be safer and better to begin paying when the silver threshold is met.
If the charity is due, then it is paid yearly in the amount of 2.5% on excess wealth, not all wealth. A family or work car, primary home, open stores or shops, work equipment, and other items in regular use for living or earning have no charity due on them. To say it another way, the value of tools or means of earning should not be counted when calculating zakat; only count the capital holdings gained with those tools and means.
Zakat can be paid directly to those in need or it can be given to someone else or an organization to distribute it on the payers behalf.
Sadaqah (voluntary charity) may go to anyone (for example, the Masjid at-Tawheed food panty distributes food and sometimes money on a weekly basis to anyone in the neighborhood regardless of religion). However, zakah, specifically, is for Muslims only.
It can be distributed to eight causes or categories: 1) fuqaraa’, the exceedingly poor, 2) miskeen, those who have some wealth, but are still in need, 3) those who expend their time and energy in distributing and administering the zakat, 4) new Muslims and those inclined toward Islam, 5) slaves and captives, 6) the debt-ridden, 7) in the way of Allah to establish the Islamic institutions, and 8) travelers.

5. al-hajj–the pilgrimage

Hajj is required only once and only if there is opportunity. If someone does not have a safe and affordable means of going or if they have pressing debts, then they are exempted until their situation changes.
The hajj must be performed at specific geographic cites which are in Makkah, Saudi Arabia. Many of the prophets and significant figures of Allah’s religion were there (including our Prophet Muhammad, peace on him) as well as important structures. Most important is the Ka’bah, which was likely constructed first by Adam and then reconstructed by Ibraheem, peace of Allah be upon both of them. It is like the masjid of the world in that we are unified by facing in its direction when we pray no matter where we are on the globe. It is also the place from which angels ascend and descend.
There is a specific time for Hajj in the month of Dhul-Hijjah. Umrah (a voluntary pilgrimage with lesser requirements) can be performed at any time of year, though it does not fulfill the obligation of performing hajj once in one’s lifetime.
Hajj may be repeated on a voluntary basis. It is exceedingly common for those who have gone to hajj to wish to go again because of the enjoyment of the peace and sense of wellbeing Allah provides with it.
There are difficulties involved, but there is an endless stream of testimonials explaining how Allah opened the door to go or made the path easy.
The hajj is life encapsulated in a small, manageable space. We leave our worldly life behind and focus our energies on Allah and our goal of achieving the Paradise.
We wear simple clothes which are similar to burial cloth. This reminds of the grave that is surely coming and it also equalizes everyone similar to how we will be equalized on the Last Day, without our worldly wealth and markers of status. Rather, our status is based on the contents of our hearts.
The status before Allah of someone whose hajj is accepted is as a newborn baby (i.e., without sin). It is an incredible renewal and peace and deflates the reactionary, petty self. Rather the person who performs hajj has aligned deeply with the true purpose of this life. Ameen.

Social Values

Mother, father & family—Quite often family are the most dear to us and our strongest allies; other times family are rude or outright harmful, more than anyone because of their nearness. Allah enjoined kindness and patience with family if possible.
Neighbors—The Prophet, peace on him, went on emphasizing the importance of good conduct with neighbors until his companions started to wonder if they would be included in the inheritance due to family members. And a neighbor can be a roommate, someone next door, on a nearby street, the next office at work, or really anyone nearby. Spread light where you are and seek to navigate problems wisely if possible. Forgive. Find ways of establishing trust and peace for God's sake.
Community & nation—Muslims are to follow the rules and be upright members of any community they are are part of.
One hadith on conduct with fellow Muslims—Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “Whoever relieves the hardship of a believer in this world, Allah will relieve his hardship on the Day of Resurrection. Whoever helps ease one in difficulty, Allah will make it easy for him in this world and in the Hereafter. Whoever conceals the faults of a Muslim, Allah will conceal his faults in this world and in the Hereafter. Allah helps the servant as long as he helps his brother. Whoever travels a path in search of knowledge, Allah will make easy for him a path to Paradise. People do not gather in the houses of Allah, reciting the book of Allah and studying it together, but that tranquility will descend upon them, mercy will cover them, angels will surround them, and Allah will mention them to those near him. Whoever is slow to good deeds will not be hastened by his lineage” (Saheeh Muslim 2699).

Spirituality

remembrance (dkhikr), supplication (du'aa') & mindfulness (taqwah)—besides the daily prayers, the Muslim is mindful of Allah in many ways in their heart, on their tongue, and in their actions.
repentance—The scholars put various conditions on seeking forgiveness from God, but they can be simplified to either three or four, depending on the matter. Hurting ourselves hurts the world indirectly, but if there was no direct harm to others, then repentance is between a person and God. They've got to stop doing the wrongful action, regret it, and sincerely intend not to do it again. Allah said that when a servant turns back to Allah in repentance, then Allah will forgive that person even if their sins are like the foam on the ocean. The fourth condition comes into play when we directly hurt others, in which case we should first ask Allah to help us make things right.
self-acceptance—Allah created us and we're supposed to be here. It's also normal to make mistakes and to take some time and processing to figure things out. Coming close to Allah and seeking Allah's guidance and support is a way of finding one's feet in life and accomplishing good despite the inevitable human imperfection, or even because of it.